The holiday season is upon us. It’s the time of year when Christmas inflatables go up, Hallmark movies take over, and collective anxiety about holiday weight gain sets in faster than Mariah Carey defrosts on November 1. We enter November bracing for impact. For many of us, this fear around food and weight gain actually begins before Halloween when Reese cups and Snickers bars are plentiful. There’s the familiar mental chatter as we inch toward Thanksgiving: the internal negotiations about what you’ll eat, the plans to “resist” mammaw’s pecan pie, bracing for unsolicited comments from Aunt Carol about “being good this year”, and the looming New Year's resolution to finally, finally start that diet. It’s a tired, awful routine that creates ongoing shame and suffering around food and our bodies. Well folks, this year, we’re choosing peace instead!

Illustration of people enjoying a holiday meal in peace and connection.

Food isn’t the enemy, and neither is your body. Food is neutral. It’s connection, comfort, nostalgia, and celebration. You can make peace with both even when surrounded by pumpkin pie and family members who apparently moonlight as diet coaches (my personal favorite is the uncle who is always planning his next round of the Atkins diet).

Let’s talk about how.

1. Call a Truce with Food

Diet culture loves to convince us that food is the villain around the holidays, tempting us at every turn with “bad” choices we’ll need to “burn off” or “make-up for” later. The guilt that follows eating? That’s learned. Somewhere along the way, we were told that being “good” means controlling what we eat, and being “bad” means enjoying seconds or putting on a little holiday weight. When is the last time you remember feeling neutral about a holiday meal? Making peace with food means granting yourself unconditional permission to eat. Yes, even the gravy, especially the gravy. It’s giving yourself permission to enjoy what’s in front of you and to stop worrying about what comes after. This year, let yourself savor each bite and trust that you can enjoy food without guilt.

2. Handle Thanksgiving Food Policing like a Champ

Thanksgiving is supposed to be about gratitude and togetherness, but it often turns into an awkward combo of emotional landmines and food policing. “Wow, you’re going back for seconds?” “I could never eat that much pie!” “I’m being good, just turkey and veggies for me!” Not to mention the exasperated and constant “Omg I’m so full” after two bites. Try to remember that other people’s food beliefs belong to them. Their comments are often projections of their own internal battles, not reflections of your worth or your choices. You can respond, deflect, or disengage, whatever feels best for you in the moment. You don’t owe anyone an explanation of your plate, your body, or your boundaries. Protecting your mental health at the holiday table is necessary.

Here’s how to protect your peace:

Arm yourself with a few phrases to shut down the inner (and outer) food police.

Have a mantra ready: Try a thought or statement like, “All foods fit”, “I do not have to earn my food” or “I prefer my food without a side of guilt and shame.”

Redirect diet and body talk: There is never a good reason to comment on someone’s body or what they choose to eat. Consider a statement like, “I’m focusing on enjoying the food and the company” or “I’m just grateful to have something delicious on my plate.” When Uncle Jim starts a conversation about how he saw so and so at Walmart on Tuesday and “they’ve put on so much weight”, try a redirect like, "Oh, I’m really trying not to comment on people’s bodies anymore, how are you doing though?” If you’re feeling bold, “We’re not doing food guilt this year, Aunt Carol.” If you’re feeling extra bold, “Suck it, Aunt Carol.” (JK, maybe)

Eat before you go: Skipping meals to “save up” backfires. You’ll arrive hangry and less in tune with your body. Feed yourself adequately and with care throughout the day and throughout the entire holiday season.

3. Reject the Pre-Holiday Cleanse

Every year around November 1st, social media is filled with “clean eating holiday tips” and “healthy swaps” that make your favorite recipes taste like saw dust. “Replace butter with mashed bananas” or “try some chickpea cookie dough.” Sure, Jan.

Bodies don’t need to be “fixed” before or after the holidays. You don’t earn your place at the table by eating fewer carbs or skipping dessert. You deserve to eat and enjoy food in a way that feels easy, kind, and right for your body. Your body was designed for nourishment, pleasure, and trust. “Making up for” holiday eating never actually works. Restriction creates obsession. You swear off peanut butter fudge and suddenly, thoughts of peanut butter fudge are infiltrating your dreams. Intuitive Eating teaches us that unconditional permission to eat is what leads to balance. When food isn’t scarce or forbidden, it loses its power. Instead of doubling down on “damage control,” try leaning into body trust. Your body knows what to do with food. It’s been managing hunger, digestion, and satisfaction long before wellness influencers started selling you detox teas.

4. Let Satisfaction Lead the Way

When you give yourself permission to eat all foods, the next step is to listen to how those foods make you feel, not from a place of judgment, but curiosity.

The goal of Intuitive Eating is to create food freedom and rebuild trust with your body’s cues. Ask yourself, What looks good right now? How does it taste? How do I feel afterward, physically and emotionally? This kind of gentle awareness helps you find balance naturally, without restriction or guilt. You may discover that you’re completely content after two slices of pie or that a second helping of mashed potatoes hits the spot. Both are equally fine. You’ll also recognize that leftovers the following few days are allowed and acceptable. For those of us raised in the clean your plate club, this is also an okay time to practice throwing away food that isn’t hitting the spot. Maybe you realize that you’d actually prefer a second helping of mac and cheese but you’ve already started on the candied yams, no problem, toss them and grab the mac.

5. Remember that Joy is Nourishment, too

Anchor yourself in the true meaning of the season. Food is only one kind of nourishment, so is laughter, rest, connection, and belting, “Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays" by NSYNC to the top of your lungs, on repeat. Focus on connection instead of calories. Who are you eating with? What stories are you sharing? What memories are you making? When you stop micromanaging every bite, you create space for joy, spontaneity, and presence, this is the kind of nourishment that lingers long after the leftovers are gone. When you widen your perspective, you might notice the moments that really fill you up: Your nephew’s excitement when he opens his gifts, the warmth of people you love gathered in one space, and the unmatched joy of watching Home Alone and Christmas Vacation for the 100th time. "You serious, Clark?"

Illustration symbolizing body acceptance and intuitive eating

This holiday season, give yourself the gift of freedom, freedom from food rules, from diet talk, from shame. Scrap the guilt, keep the gravy, and reclaim what the holidays were meant for: connection, laughter, stretchy pants, making precious memories, and unconditional love and kindness.

Eat the pie, treasure the moments with your people, and trust your body.

If you’re ready to redefine your relationship with food and your body, connect with a therapist at The Therapy Hub today.