Embracing Body Neutrality: A Gentle Rebellion in a World of Anti-Fat Bias
Let’s take a moment to talk about the word fat. If you’re new to exploring body acceptance, you might find it surprising, maybe even uncomfortable, to see fat used so freely. That’s understandable as most of us grew up only ever hearing the word as an insult. When I use the word fat in this blog post, I do so intentionally, respectfully, and with understanding.
Reclaiming the word fat as a neutral descriptor is a powerful way to push back against the stigma surrounding larger bodies. When we treat it like a bad word, we unintentionally send the message that fatness is something to be ashamed of. Think about how often someone asks, “Do I look fat in this?” and the immediate response is, “You’re not fat, you’re beautiful.” Even though it is meant to be reassuring, it actually implies that fat and beautiful cannot exist together. This kind of well-meaning but harmful reaction shows why we need to change the way we talk about bodies. Fat should be just a descriptive word like tall or blonde, nothing more, nothing less, free from judgment or ridicule.
What is Body Neutrality?
The concept of body neutrality offers a refreshing and much needed perspective. Body neutrality is the idea that our worth is not tied to how our bodies look, but rather what they allow us to do and experience. It’s about shifting the focus from aesthetics to functionality, from judgment to acceptance. What if instead of striving for body positivity or self-love (both of which are wonderful but can feel out of reach for many), we embraced something simpler, kinder, and more sustainable? Body neutrality is like the cozy sweatpants (comfortable, forgiving, and low effort) of body image movements. It doesn’t demand that you love your body every second of the day. It just asks you to let it exist, unapologetically, without judgment.
Rewriting Your Body Story: A Narrative Therapy Perspective
Narrative therapy teaches us that the way we tell our stories shapes our reality. If you’ve been living in a story where your body is the villain, the obstacle between you and happiness, it’s time for a rewrite. Body neutrality allows us to step back from a narrow, oppressive storyline and author a new one: a story where our bodies are not moral battlegrounds but merely the vessels that carry us through our lives. Narrative therapy also recognizes anti-fat bias as a dominant cultural narrative that negatively impacts individuals, rather than as an inherent truth about a person’s body or worth.
Instead of thinking, “I can’t be happy until I lose weight,” we might reframe it as, “I can create joy in my life now, regardless of my size.” Instead of believing, “I’ll never be loved unless I lose weight,” we might say, “I deserve love exactly as I am.” It might also look like reminding yourself, “Flimsy bar stools and airplane seats are the problem, not my bigger body.” Shifting our narrative doesn’t mean ignoring the pain caused by anti-fat bias, it means refusing to let that bias dictate the meaning of our lives. I encourage you to consider and reflect upon the following questions, "Where did this idea that your body is a problem come from?" "How has this belief shaped your life, and what has it cost you?" "What counter stories exist about your body that challenge these harmful messages?"
The Real World Consequences of Anti-Fat Bias
Anti-fat bias isn’t just a soul sucking confidence killer, it’s a health hazard. Research shows that fat people are less likely to receive accurate and timely medical care because doctors often attribute health concerns to weight, overlooking other possible causes (Puhl et al., 2021). A 2022 report from the American Psychological Association highlights the pervasiveness of this issue. Studies cited in their review found that 40% of higher weight patients avoid or delay medical care due to fear of stigma (APA, 2022). This avoidance has real consequences, as delayed care can lead to worsened health outcomes.
The report also found that weight stigma is linked to elevated stress hormones such as cortisol, worsening metabolic health and mental health conditions (Tomiyama et al., 2018). As the APA notes, “Stigma creates a biological trap: stress from discrimination makes it harder to lose weight, which then invites more stigma” (APA, 2022, para. 5). The report also emphasizes: “Weight stigma doesn’t just affect physical health, it also takes a severe toll on mental health” (APA, 2022, para. 7). For example, experiences of weight discrimination are associated with higher rates of depression, anxiety, and disordered eating behaviors (Puhl & Suh, 2015). This is particularly concerning because research shows patients in larger bodies are less likely to be diagnosed with eating disorders, even when exhibiting classic symptoms, due to providers’ assumptions that these disorders only affect individuals in smaller bodies (Sawyer et al., 2016). In other words, the system screaming “But your health!” (insert eye roll) is actively making it harder for us to be healthy.
How to Practice Body Neutrality
1. See the Bigger Picture: Recognize that anti-fatness is a systemic issue rooted in cultural, medical, and media biases, not a personal failing. Understanding this can help you untangle societal judgment from your worth.
2. Challenge Internalized and Externalized Bias: Reflect on the messages you’ve absorbed about fatness and question their validity. Where did they come from? Do I assume someone’s health status based on their size? If so, why? What would change if I focused on feeling neutral in my body rather than making it smaller?
3. Practice Self-Compassion: When you catch yourself criticizing your body, pause, be curious, and then reframe. Instead of focusing on how your body looks, thank it for what it does, whether that’s carrying you through your work day, hugging a loved one, or being able to pet your dog. This could also look like finally engaging in activities that have only ever been acceptable as “weight loss rewards”, don’t wait for some arbitrary milestone to treat yourself with kindness. That massage? The new hairstyle? Your dream trip? You better go ahead!
4. Wear What Feels Good: Dress your body in clothes that make you feel comfortable and confident, regardless of trends or expectations. Life is too short for “someday” jeans. If you like it, rock it.
5. Surround Yourself with Affirming Voices: Seek out and support creators, activists, and advocates who promote body neutrality and challenge anti-fat bias. Follow people like Aubrey Gordon, Christy Harrison, and Sonya Renee Taylor, who are all doing incredible work in this space. This will also help alter your social media algorithms to show you more body neutral content.
6. Set Boundaries: Push back against anti-fat bias in your everyday life. Call out fatphobic jokes, politely disengage from conversations about diets or weight loss, and demand better from healthcare providers. Take a social media break if you need to.
7. Grieve: The world is brutal to fat bodies. It’s okay to be angry. It’s okay to cry. Try to remind yourself: “This isn’t about me. I deserve better.”
8. Ditch the Scale: Literally, throw that motherf’cker in the trash. From this moment on, your weight is irrelevant.
9. Find Your People: Work with a HAES® aligned therapist (holla at your girl) or dietitian. Surround yourself with friends and loved ones who make you feel safe and heard.
10. Remember You Are Not Alone: Many people are unlearning anti-fat bias and practicing self-compassion alongside you. Solidarity can be healing. "Rarely, if ever, are any of us healed in isolation. Healing is an act of communion."- bell hooks
A Kinder Way Forward
Unlearning anti-fat bias is like trying to quit a cult you didn’t even realize you joined. It’s messy, it’s frustrating (downright infuriating), and sometimes you’ll catch yourself slipping back into old thought patterns. Here’s the thing though, you don’t have to be perfect at this. You just have to keep showing up, remain curious, and maybe (definitely) throw your scale into a dumpster where it belongs. Your body is not a problem to be solved, a before picture, or a public service announcement. Your body is just yours! The next time you feel pressure to be smaller, quieter, less of you…remember you’re allowed to exist and take up space as exactly as you are in this moment!
Citations
1. APA Monitor Article (Primary Source)
American Psychological Association. (2022, March). Weighing the damage of weight stigma. Monitor on Psychology, 53(3).
2. Weight Stigma and Healthcare Avoidance
Puhl, R. M., Himmelstein, M. S., & Pearl, R. L. (2021). Weight stigma as a psychosocial contributor to obesity. American Psychologist, 76(2), 265–278.
3. Stress and Metabolic Health
Tomiyama, A. J., et al. (2018). How and why weight stigma drives the obesity ‘epidemic’ and harms health. BMC Medicine, 16(1), 123.
4. Eating Disorders and Weight Stigma
Puhl, R. M., & Suh, Y. (2015). Health consequences of weight stigma: Implications for obesity prevention and treatment. Current Obesity Reports, 4(2), 182–190.
5. Eating Disorder Misdiagnosis
Sawyer, S. M., et al. (2016). Eating disorders in adolescents: Position paper of the Society for Adolescent Health and Medicine. Journal of Adolescent Health, 59(1),